The Tyranny of Iced Tea

Most of what passes off as iced tea in this country has no actual tea in it. Most of the time it’s basically flavored sugar water. It’s gross. Most people like it (but then this is also a country where that so-godawful-this-must-be-what-satan’s-balls’-sweat-tasted-like San Mig instant coffee is considered coffee) so they, in turn, assume everyone shares their fondness for that crap. In most events I go to, iced tea is the only drink you’ll get served for free, aside from water. In seminars and whatnot, the wait staff just serves it to you without asking if this is indeed something you intend to put in your mouth. I used to try to ward off any attempts to get served that drink, until I realized the staff will keep trying to give you one if they see that you don’t have one yet. And so I spend half my time at lunch saying “No No No I don’t want that I’d rather drink laundry detergent mixed with Domex” and getting increasingly frustrated at what seems to be the world’s unrelenting attempt to force iced tea on me. So I just meekly accept my drink and it just sits there untouched. It could’ve gone to someone who actually wanted it, but no, I had to take it and let it go to waste because if I didn’t, well, I just told you why.

I long to live in a world where people never ever offer me iced tea. Ever. Stop trying to force that disgusting flavored sugar water on me. I prefer soda (or, as Pinoys like to call it — softdrinks, because apparently in this country, “drinks” is both singular and plural), which is MY flavored sugar water of choice. And friend, if you’re too much of a cheapskate to serve me a real drink, let me have water and let me drink it and eat my lunch in peace.

By Tania Arpa

Thinker, writer, skeptic, spy. Geek. I do my own stunts. Follow me on Twitter at @TaniaArpa.

Let me know what you think!